On the Run

Life is better on the run.

Whether your completely barefoot running at full speed through the grass into the sand- Life is much better on the run. 

As snow collects on the ground, we have that choice to stay in on the treadmill or face the music outdoors where our toes freeze and our faces sting. I miss summer runs. so, so much. But the trick is to find your beach where ever it is that you are. Paradise is motion and just being able to run is bliss. So blissful in fact that if you are like me, and you are injured you feel like you want to punch everyone in the face outside you see running past happily and just ruin their precious little jog because you are so inwardly miserable and depressed from not being able to run. #runnerprobs. #tendonitislife....which leads me to my original whole saga for this blog of my life on a stationary bike. Slowly rehabilitating tendonitis post Chicago Marathon has been mentally awful. Yes, I can run an hour now again happily a few days a week. Like a mule, I stubbornly still go out for runs a few times a week to not totally lose my mind (not that I recommend people doing this...because sometimes injuries just work themselves out the more you run...again...probably best to avoid doing what I do)....I quote the lyrics of Roger Alan Wade...

If your gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough!

When you get knocked down you gotta get back up.
Thats the way it is in life and love
If your gonna be dumb you gotta be tough. 

So for me right now. my beach is sitting on a spin bike in my room pretending like im running on my days of no running.

YOU'RE FINE. "you're fine"..so keep going.

That’s absolutely 1000% true. You are fine. Whatever is raging on can be temporarily calmed. Yup. Try telling that to someone who is suffering from any sort of abuse. Try telling that to someone who is giving birth without the happy drugs. Try telling that to someone who is in a war zone. So, why not. Just suck it up. Keep going. You’re fine. Fuck that. Those are the most annoying words ever expressed to anyone who has ever tried to swim upstream in shit creek. Until it happens to you- YOU DON’T KNOW.  

But you will know why I race in purple. Maybe even reddish purple or pinkish purple because I am broke and I can't afford Lady Gaga's matching purple punk ensemble with meat shoes. 

So let us begin this whole horrific tale at the beginning of the end and work our way through. After I got out of grad-school I started working in corporate fitness for Motorola- not mobility because I don't rep those phones- I was on the side of Solutions. My clients were mostly software engineers and sales peoples and random other levels of upper and lower I have no idea what the hell they did but I enjoyed the presence of every single one of them. I taught a ton of group fitness classes and specifically this tale begins with my regular Friday's Core training class. That's where this horrible phrase entered my life before it really meant something. " YOU ARE FINE". is what I would repeatedly say to my class as they held planks on their elbows or repped out hundreds of push ups only to sink back into that goddamn plank position without any hope of recovery. "YOU ARE FINE." I would tell them in the most calm-almost laughingly sweet voice. It was fun to make them hate me. It was fun to be the villain making them push through tough workouts. My class would laugh at this phrase and they got my crazy sarcasm. But to a point I was dead serious, because if the hardest part of your day is gritting through a fitness class- yes, YOU ARE FINE! you can preserve through far worse situations. So you know what, quit your bitching and hold that damn plank. Don't let your butt sink down. Fix that shit. Suck it up and keep going. YOU ARE FINE. You haven't yet scratched the surface of human mental tolerance and survival.

I wish I could give you a tell-all of what it was and what it felt like since 2012, but until I write that anonymous novel, you're only getting maybe a quarter of the story. Here are the "Facts" you should know:

1. I stand against any form of abuse. Love should be kind. Verbal, mental, emotional, physical, sexual-all of it is extremely harmful and we should be educated on how truly awful it is and courts and family counsellors, lawyers, all of them should be educated on all forms of domestic abuse and how it affects victims and their children.

2. I am FINE and will always stand and continue to fight for the rights of those who are just a number in the court docket. Fight for those who feel they have their rights silenced through advocating education, awareness, and support. 

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Red and blue make purple the color of bruises and scars. I race in purple from my hair to my socks to bring awareness for domestic abuse and much needed family court reform. 

We can all stand together and be more than FINE because We can help heal. 

This is just good for the soul.

I was told that if you cry in the shower; no one can hear your tears. Those are the days,  the nights that my feet pound will pound the pavement with a fury of a thunderstorm. The water pours. My heart, my head, my lungs radiate the intensity as though my scream has shattered a mountain. Those are the days the road is my therapy. The world turns to slow motion because everything becomes beautiful again. All of it. The anger, the sadness, the love. I re-fall deeply in love with life. Although it can hurt tremendously still I carry on and seek out the beauty that is still out there in this world. Because I believe with a hope it still does. I used to believe in the power of the human condition. The heart would always triumph and saints were saints because they were ordinary people showing their strength and humans like this are still out there created in the universe. And some days you must internalize this belief and become your own rescue.

I rescue myself every time I go out there. If I never raced again, I wouldn't care at all. I love the freedom, the flight, the feeling that running gives me. I would still do speed work when I felt like it because I get the urge to push. I want to feel fast. Sometimes I need to slow and take in the world around me because it provides a calm to the internal thunderstorm that rages. Realize that you have the power to amaze yourself with how incredibly strong you are and that you are not afraid to challenge yourself and step completely out of your comfort zone and just go.

Running is more than therapy. It's a central way of life. Yeah, I can be a gym rat, but that's just for fun. This getting out there -- it's just plain good for the soul.

So go forth.

Paradise is a state of Mind

Paradise is not a state of being, but a state of mind. It exists within us not always around us. It is our creation.


Real life is messy; I started this blog back in 2012 to help keep my training on track for the Olympic Trails. I failed. I'm way off track with where I was going with the most successful failure during my November attempt; but I understand where I need to be and yet I carry on. I may color outside the lines here and there but I'm still headed in the same general direction to move forward towards that goal experiencing life's ups and downs and ins and outs. I use my running as happiness, therapy, justice, politics, hope-- all of it. It's messy. I'm sweaty, my hair is never brushed. But that's how it is and I can't picture it going any other way but imperfectly. 2020 is a short ways away in terms of the grand scheme of things so yes, I keep going in my mustache sported knee socks. You want to see my training journal? it's pretty messy too... I write on a dry erase calendar in my kitchen, the note app on my phone, scrawled out in a hand written day planner. There's order, kind of.

This week so far:
Sunday- 9 miles with last 3 miles at half marathon pace (final mile was close to a flat 6)
Monday- 9 miles easy
Tuesday- 60 minutes spin bike in afternoon, 45 minutes before bed
Wednesday- 10 miles easy
Thursday- 12 miles in a bit under 1:20:00 for a happy widdle tempo.
Friday & Saturday are going to be high mileage in attempt to prep for the Chicago Marathon this Octoberuary :)


I have been averaging around 75-95 miles per week like the village idiot. But it's a paradise mental state I've created for myself with running. And I'm using my happiness to bring awareness to purple. yeah, shut up, I'm still on my purple streak. and you should be too!

I'll be rocking all purple even the purple hair did again for the marathon to raise hope for domestic abuse survivors and push the message LOVE IS KIND.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

 Love is patient, love is kind. 

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 

It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

You are all you have got so stand the hell up.

I have copied this article from : http://www.dailykos.com/story/2014/9/29/1333112/-Attorney-Fights-to-Reform-Family-Court-May-Lose-Law-License

And we all need to read it. Please. When you see someone through this struggle. Please stand beside them and wear your purple.

Fed up with family court judges ignoring evidence of child abuse, last year Louisiana attorney Nanine McCool announced she was running for state district judge. A week later she was fighting to keep her law license.

“I don’t regret what I did,” McCool said of her actions that spurred the Office of Disciplinary Counsel to recommend she be disbarred from practicing law for a year. “If I lose my license for insisting that judges look at the evidence and apply the law before they make a decision, I can live with that.”

After more than a decade of practicing family law, McCool said handling multiple cases where abused children were not protected prompted her to run for a judgeship. “Parents go to the courts expecting to have the courts help them protect their children, and are stunned that not only will the courts not protect their children, but will actively seek to prevent the parent themselves from protecting their children,” McCool said. “That’s what makes you nauseous.”

Cindy Dumas, founder of Safe Kids International, has been asking people to write on Daily Kos about their efforts to protect children in family court. Saying the courts had failed to protect him, her son Damon married a stranger in Las Vegas at age 16 to become legally emancipated and escape the family court system.

Nanine McCool

McCool is running against Louisiana 22nd Judicial District Court Judge Dawn Amacker, one of two judges that McCool had written a blog post about in 2011 concerning the welfare of two children in a custody case. In the post, McCool, who was representing the mother, urged the public to call the judges and ask them to hear all the evidence before making a ruling.

The November 5, 2013, disciplinary complaint accuses McCool of multiple violations of professional conduct in regard to the blog post and motions she filed calling on Amacker to recuse herself from cases. McCool also was accused of encouraging the public to make contact with the judges to influence their rulings.

In the blog post, McCool linked to two audio recordings of the young children. “Harley and her sister Zoey have been telling their mother, their doctors, their therapists, teachers, friends and family that their daddy has been playing a game with them called ‘weewees and butts’ since they were four and three years old,” McCool wrote in the post. “Now consider that no judge has ever heard those recordings. Why? Because for 4.5 years, they have simply refuse to do so.”

The audio of the children is no longer on the internet. According to the complaint against McCool, a Mississippi judge who was hearing the custody case in 2008 ordered that no recordings of the children shall be made available to anyone but the counsel of record and the court. Whether the recordings were entered in the Mississippi case cannot be verified because the judge there sealed the case. The complaint against McCool notes that much of the information was taken from Louisiana filings.

In 2011 McCool was handling an adoption proceeding for the mother’s new husband who wanted to adopt the two girls, all residents of Louisiana. After child support is not paid for children for six consecutive months, according to Louisiana law, a stepparent has the right to ask the court for an adoption hearing over the delinquent parent’s objection.

Amacker presided over the adoption hearing but stayed the proceedings pending the outcome of the Mississippi case and refused to hear evidence regarding the children’s safety, McCool said.

Family court judges are often taught to be suspicious of abuse allegations during divorce proceedings, said DeAnn Salcido, a former San Diego family court judge whogave a child molester custody of his six-year-old daughter in 2003 and has been motivated by that mistake to change the system.

A divorce can spur a child to reveal abuse for the first time, yet this is the time a child is least likely to be believed, said Joyanna Silberg, a psychologist who led a Department of Justice-funded study examining family court cases where judges failed to protect children who were being abused. Family violence is often invisible because people are reluctant to jeopardize the integrity of the family unit, Silberg said. When the family unit is split during divorce, abuse victims, including children, have less incentive to keep secrets.

Some states have adopted “friendly parent” laws that favor custody to the parent who is more likely to facilitate visitations with the other parent. Protective parents, who are concerned about child abuse, can be judged harshly by “friendly parent” law standards.

Many lawyers advise their clients not to bring up abuse allegations because the risk that they will not be believed -- and the judge will give sole custody to the accused abuser -- is too great, McCool said. “If we all stand together we could stop this. We should not be afraid of losing our license for representing our clients fairly.”

But right now, many of her fellow family court attorneys won’t speak to her. “Most of them go along to get along because they have families to support and can’t afford to take a stand and risk being blackballed by judges,” McCool said.

If the Louisiana Supreme Court rules that McCool should be disbarred, she will not be eligible to run for judge. “The (Louisiana) Supreme Court is very political but I am still confident that its vision of the justice system is more like mine than the one the (Office of Disciplinary Counsel’s) recommendations reflect,” McCool said.

Today, I promise to keep going.

Those of you who listen to NPR are probably familiar with "This I Believe" - a segment which features people from all walks of life describing their beliefs.

Katie Harris, a young, talented, aspiring female with a crazy runner for a father, wrote this in loving memory to her mother. In our Motorola Run Club, I have worked with Paul Harris numerous times and as a proud friend of a family who has continued to show strength and courage through devastating times, I wanted to share this very inspiring  NPR segment that his daughter wrote.

It is worth every moment you spend reading it.

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Enough
On some days, when I feel inadequate, I write on my wrist in small letters, “enough,” reminding myself that I need not be any different than who I am in that exact moment. On other days, I get lost in the “to-do’s,” and “should-be’s,” forgetting entirely that I am an imperfect being. I compare myself to others, trying to measure up to deeply ingrained societal expectations. In this thought, I dismiss the unconditional love and acceptance others have for me. Upon examination, I realize that these thoughts are rooted in distortion- the distortion that I must meet certain benchmarks to prove my worthiness. Unconditional love is not based on inconsequential standards. My sister, who scrambles out of the door to class in the morning, wearing her hair in a messy bun; who comes home late at night looking only for something to fill her exhausted body, bent between family and education, is enough. My father, who works countless hours to provide a home for his family, ensuring that they have a quality of life that was better than his, is enough. My mother, who raised two girls into adulthood, teaching lessons of compassion and self expression rather than societal expectations; who traded the bottle for support groups after realizing that her disease had landed her in a place she did not want to be; who rode motorcycles for the thrill and studied flowers everyday; who felt that her mental illness disqualified her from being the mother, the wife, the friend that others saw her as, was enough. I didn’t fully comprehend this concept until one day, when I rushed home to find my sister’s eyes flooded with tears, and a policeman telling me that my mother took her life. In that moment, I only wanted to hug her and tell her how much she meant to me. When I look back, I realize that every single one of her efforts were enough. From waking up in the morning with heavy eyelids, sitting silently through meals and celebrations, to lifting only one finger because she had not enough energy for two, she was enough. Love connected her to a world without standards. The illusion that my mother’s efforts were inadequate stole her from my life. Now, I crave her simple presence. I crave the way that her motherly hugs engulfed me with love. I crave her patience in the way that she willingly listened to my troubles. Though depression took the first person I ever knew, I gained an appreciation for the value of all individuals, including myself. I understand that each and every person navigates the world to the best of their abilities, and I need not compare their lives to another. A book that my sister has read to me several times states, “When a rose and a lotus are held side by side, is one more beautiful than the other?” Each person possesses individual and unique beauty that connects them to the surrounding universe. In this statement, I remember that there is no one to compare myself to. I have learned to accept the struggles, pain and happiness as a part of life.

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As a personal advocate of depression awareness, mental health awareness, domestic abuse awareness and love to all; this is something very much worth sharing. Knowing you are ENOUGH. Running is my therapy and out there on the roads, its just me or just me pushing Cael for his run and there is no judge and there is no race, no one to compare myself to. Just trying to do better that the previous day. This passage was so motivational it needed to be shared with the world.

Thank you Katie & Paul.

And yet the pedals still turn

I haven't left, I've just been pedaling. It's been cold, it's frozen over, and I've been running. Hidden away with my life, my thoughts and my dreams. Putting in all the work because the race is won in the off season- all the miles, the training. To race well, to win you must be prepared for it all. The perfect conditions don't exist and one must train very hard through it all. I'm still here. I'll be on the roads, I'll be found in my solitary walls of confinement running on an endless belt. The training will test your will, but the race will set you free.

The Adult Swim Diaper and You.

If you bathroom more miles than you actually raced...that's gotta be some kind of a record right? There goes my next successful failure on my Happy Gilmore path to fame. hahaha. but you gotta at least stop to laugh at yourself along the way or really; what fun is it?

Naperville Half Marathon; went a widdle something like this.... mile 1, 2, 3, 4- awesome sauce. running negative splits and carefully picking up the pace each mile and settling into a steady rhythm to hold 3rd place. I was working on a 1:20 half and then all of a sudden that fun little place in your stomach turns over, wakes up and was like Surrrrrprise! what you need to do RIGHT NOW is digest your breakfast, last nights food and be really sick about it. Porta potty hopping began there and never stopped. To those who witnessed me drop trow. I'm sorry and I'm working on my invention of the adult sweat - wicking swim type diaper that won't hold slog you down when you want to PR and keep running. After getting violently sick and sprinting 18 times to try and keep some sort of competivite position while losing my racing spankies (aka my "small pants") I finished in 1:31. Way off target but to waste 10 minutes to sickness on the course I was actually impressed with myself because I realized a sub 1:30 half was now easy.

All of the late nights, the early mornings, the lunch time nap runs. All of miles added up and made sense. When you understand your purpose and why you train like there's no sight of tomorrow; you stay committed. You stay focused. Early morning I spin bike; afternoon nap run pushing my son 8-14 miles, or now with the cold weather approaching; I run on the treadmill in my garage after he goes to bed each night to get in double workouts most days to average 95 miles a week.

Do or Don't; there is no try. If I try and fail, I will still be much closer time wise to the trials than a year ago and I can try again in 2020 because why not? I will be very much ready by then if not now. There is no stopping. You must do. I realized this all dragging and dead-lifting my own furniture out to the curb one day because I didn't want to look like a panzie in front of my neighbors watching me. I realized that I couldn't quit and I couldn't do something half way and leave it. I had to just do it.

The Plan and well, the 4 Year Plan

The 2016 U.S. Marathon Trials represent victory and the reality of what dreams can be achieved by constantly challenging yourself and pushing your training beyond what people say you are capable of. It is an example of what courage and hard work can demonstrate and to set an example for my son to aim high for his goals in life and strive hard to earn the success. I deeply admire, and respect elite level distance running and I have been absolutely hooked since freshman year cross-country when I first felt those steps of freedom running provided. The race, the training, the pain it's all a beautiful sport when you pour your heart into it. The Marathon Trials to me, is everything- success, the motivation to show others who struggle as single parents that you can still achieve victories, to inspire my son to never give up on his dreams, and to me- it's just my love and passion I want to share with the world. 

In terms of what I plan to do to make the qualification standard - I'm not afraid of the hard work ahead. I run with Cael (my son) over my lunch break, I use the spin bike after Cael goes to bed and before Cael wakes up I plan to move my treadmill over to my garage and start adding in morning miles. I resistance train and cross train at the gym on afternoons when Cael visits his dad.This is all i want to do besides be the best mom I humanly can. To show him not to give up on his dreams and that the most important goals in life take the hardest work to achieve and they are absolutely worth the struggle. I constantly fight for his rights in court because he is my most precious goal over anything.

the stinky truth

It's what we call a "successful failure". That moment you when you PR without shitting your pants and waste time leaving the course for the nearest Porta Potty. Yes you made a PR but you are left wondering how much bigger of a personal record could you have attained without the potential pants pooping.

Life on the run. A series of mistakes you repeat over and over due to sheer will of logical insanity.  Aka the running addiction.

there is no title to express the heart

Where do you begin if the only person counting is you. Do we measure our week starting with Sunday or Monday? Did we make enough junk miles to cover our addiction that week? It's a process and a passion of slowly losing yourself into a place of numbers and nothingness. Best runs I have ever had was a race against nothing in the warm summer rain. No finishline and no clear path just go and remove the technology from the puzzle. When we lose count we see a much larger, more clear, more beautiful picture because we then actually see where we are going and appreciate the journey instead of the outcome.

Tuesday to Tuesday - 81.7 miles 

Go take off your Garmin and get out there. The journey awaits.

The key here is duct tape, not band-aids

Correction- throw some band-aids on your nipples because you can't win a marathon without a little blood. use duct tape for your feet. didn't think of that huh? 

The Truth Behind Training

3/21/15 | 9 miles on stepmill (60 minutes), 5 miles running on treadmill average 6:50 pace, 10 minutes cool down stepmill

3/22/15 | 10 miles pushing the minion in the running stroller

3/23/15 | 60 minutes treadmill (blind run up incline) | 8 miles while minion napped

3/24/15 | 100 minutes stepmill (14.5 miles) & weights with deadlifts, rows, single leg squats, pull ups, dips

3/25/15 | 8 miles pushing minion & 30 minutes on spin bike after he went to bed

3/26/15 | stepmill 75 minutes (11 miles)

3/27/15 | 8 miles pushing minion & 40 minutes on spin bike after he went to bed

3/28/15 | 100 minutes stepmill (14.5 miles) & weights with deadlifts, rows, squats, pull ups, dips

3/29/15 | 60 minutes stepmill (8.5 miles), machine weights & incline bench press, then 35 minutes on stepper in the afternoon during munchkin's nap

3/30/15 | 8 miles running pushing the 2.5 year old (mile 5 @ 6:59 & mile 7 @ 5:57)

Mileage junkie. Mistake #1. its not a matter of running x miles to train for a 13.1 mile race; it's a matter of accumulating minutes in motion. Training your body to feel uncomfortable and be comfortable with that for longer than you plan on racing. Much longer. 

the road is long but you are never alone

To totally "borrow" a quote from I found on  Facebook (yeah right i just jacked it): "that which makes you exceptional is also, inevitably, that which makes you lonely." Completely hit home for me this week. 

The loneliness of a long distance runner is only a state of mind, not a state of being. Though we may run alone we are tied to a deeper level of community (community of crazies lol). The roads may be cold but they are always open. The hospitality and friendship found in absolute strangers at a race epitomizes sportsmanship. Thanks to all those who cheer on the sidelines,  support, organize, volunteer, race, every one there that makes race day so special as to what it is. But there are two sides to this; not just the miles you put in. With any form of talent you have your haters or non-supporters and its something only you alone can do and create and the person you are with or your family/friends may not support or appreciate it or understand it. But in the end, it all comes down to you and your goals and what you are passionate about.

The long is road; but on race day we all lead to the same finish line that reunites and excites us to do this all over again.

To the unknown daughters

To the daughter I saw at the gym this weekend;  I don't remember your name but I remember your decision. You saw me on the stepmill and asked me what sport this helps- cheer leading or cross-country. My answer was both of course; because you will boost your endurance needed for any sport but which sport do you plan to compete in was my question back to her? 

To the unknown developing female athlete; this is my advice.

Choose respect. Choose to love your self and your body. Don't let the images of what a runner or athlete should look like put limits on how truly great you can become. Strong is beautiful. Do what you love. Run. Run free and bow to no one. Let the men bow to you from the infield and take you seriously as you stride past unblinking unwavering. Have your strong legs stand tall and command respect. Never settle for what you think you can accomplish and never let a coach put you in box of amounting to nothing. Newsflash; you are something. You are someone powerful and it's up you how you treat your body and put work into your passion. Be passionate about what you do. The sport is yours, the track is yours. Don't let anyone strip you of your love for it and never let a single soul dictate to you what your limits and your training can not go beyond. The track is a solitary loop but endless. Shoot for endless possibilities for your own greatness. Just never stop doing. Never stop being. You are beautiful and your determination will only grow with you.  A painted face and ribbons will draw attention but, let your art-form pour out and have it speak your voice- command respect.

the definition of insanity - population, YOU

Lets face it- "you're crazy" is the best compliment.  Yup crazy for what we love, crazy for more. Im usually not into making new years resolutions because I believe that a flip of the calendar shouldn't have to push you to new beginnings or higher motivation. If you're that damn crazy it should be in your heart all year all the time a constant beat in your foot steps closer and closer to what you want to accomplish.  This year im just entering a new phase of "crazy" ... crazy like a fox :). The mileage will be higher just like the stakes this year. I love it. I love the pay off and I get excited to do the work. 90 plus miles a week. My epic advice for those getting ready for a half... heres what I told my friend Karen:

with the half its not all about the long runs, i have discovered. its more about time on your feet. and training yourself to be okay with feeling uncomfortable for awhile. its the self talk that yeah there will be bad miles throughout the race but the half is not won in the first 5k. its really crunch time in the final 5k with emphasis on mile 12 to 13. so learning to run negative splits is a huge benefit many runners struggle with. people go out too fast and then when you just continually jack the pace up you just kinda crush their soul as you pass them effortlessly. 

I like to train with what i call negative balances- so say you warm up low impact for a bit on elliptical or step mill just to get the body going for 30 min or so then commit to at least 4-8 miles on the mill. but start at a mildly uncomfortable base pace for example; 6:58 (8.6mph on the mill) and hold that for 1 mile; then bump it up for mile to to something more uncomfortable (6:53/6:49pace for the next mile. Then bounce back and forth each mile rotating a mile at base pace then a mile at push pace but never slow to below base pace as the challenge. Its a great way to teach your body to surge.

Another workout that I like to use is continued negative splits: meaning start at that mildly uncomfortable base pace listed above and each mile go one mph faster: 8.6mph, then 8.7mph, then 8.8mph until you want to cry and then hold that fastest pace for another mile until you actually do cry. I try to get in 7-8 miles in this fashion. 

Only do this like1x a week. the rest is all regular base miles and cross training and lifting as normal.

these are my secrets.
when in doubt stepmill for 2 hours.

a brick i like is 60 min on stepmill in negative splits (pushing to hold around 118-125 steps/min) then run a negative progression on the mill for 4-6 miles immediately following.

cheers to sweat. and dirt. and life on the run

I am going to disappoint you. I am not June Cleaver who has time to vaccuum in heals and a pearl necklace. Im never going to be the glam housewife that looks amazing all day or the mom that never had a hair out of place. No matter what I try Im just not ever going to meet your ideal of a lady. To all I have let down, I am not sorry. I am real. The sweat, the dirt, the food stains and marker on my pants. Im not lazy i just have more interesting priorities. To the glam mom at the play place, do you even lift?!

Would rather be sweaty with a beautiful smile. I want to forever chase my son. Not sit out on the sidelines looking too pretty to play.

I never left I returned stronger

And so it goes. My friends who have followed me over the years I apologize for my absence but it has allowed me to find more solid ground. We get older and faster simply because we eventually come to learn our bodies and know not our limitations but the limits we subconsciously place on our selves. We will never out run a cheetah or Usain Bolt anytime soon, but we dont have to settle for what we have achieved.  Its, time to push for what you can achieve. The amateur athletes,  the sportsman,  there is beauty to competition and a race as PRE says is a work of art. Why compete if we dont win? The challenge to try makes it exciting, daring, brave. Push your own limits and open your stride.  Even if you never race, there is a world out there to be explored.  If its on two feet, pedaling, or on your wheels the roads, tracks, trails are open. Just go forth with strength and desire, beauty and flow. Run into the rain (or snow) & start an adenture. Just let your feet go.

My most recent adventure. Running the chicago marathon in 3:24 with no traditional long run to post. Yup. I was that asshole on the stepmill. 2 hours one sunday to build time on my feet. Hey I never said the gym couldnt be an adventure ;). I ran as an illinois elite at north shore half and accomplished my goal of placing. 10th is a place. I never said I would win so hush. 10th overall for the elite woman is a start on the road to somewhere... probably just more crazy miles. I love the chase the thrill the challenge. I may never go pro but damn, I love what I do and im blessed to share my passion with my son who gets quite angry if I dont push him fast enough.

To my friends, thank you for reading and staying with the journey to nowhere. Ill post again more than let a two year gap pass. Unless im just out on that ridiculously long of a run,

You will only get as far as you go

Stop worrying about a race that's 6 months away. Worry about the miles your missing tomorrow.

Pushing the tempo all week
Sat | 9.34 miles
Sun | 60 min bike
Mon | 7.25 miles Fartlek
Tues | 60 min bike
Wed | 8 miles of speed work
Thurs | 45 min bike
Fri | 7 miles Fartlek

You're heart is where you put it

You're always in control whether you wanna own it or not. If you didn't love it, you wouldn't do it like it was your religion.

Is running a religion? Ill make it mine then.

Tuesdaily | 7.25 miles inc. 1/4 mile easy followed by 1 mile balls out. Repeat until you reach 7.25.

Wednesday | killer bike intervals 60 min. End of story. My legs are on fire. I wouldn't want it any other way.

I wear my heart on my feet ;)

Sometimes it just feels right. Other days you are just plain exhausted. Whatever you are and whatever your feeling. Keep your feeties moving ;)

5 min warm up
6 x this pattern: 5 min hard, 2 min moderate/recovery pace
Got about 7 miles in