I was told that if you cry in the shower; no one can hear your tears. Those are the days, the nights that my feet pound will pound the pavement with a fury of a thunderstorm. The water pours. My heart, my head, my lungs radiate the intensity as though my scream has shattered a mountain. Those are the days the road is my therapy. The world turns to slow motion because everything becomes beautiful again. All of it. The anger, the sadness, the love. I re-fall deeply in love with life. Although it can hurt tremendously still I carry on and seek out the beauty that is still out there in this world. Because I believe with a hope it still does. I used to believe in the power of the human condition. The heart would always triumph and saints were saints because they were ordinary people showing their strength and humans like this are still out there created in the universe. And some days you must internalize this belief and become your own rescue.
I rescue myself every time I go out there. If I never raced again, I wouldn't care at all. I love the freedom, the flight, the feeling that running gives me. I would still do speed work when I felt like it because I get the urge to push. I want to feel fast. Sometimes I need to slow and take in the world around me because it provides a calm to the internal thunderstorm that rages. Realize that you have the power to amaze yourself with how incredibly strong you are and that you are not afraid to challenge yourself and step completely out of your comfort zone and just go.
Running is more than therapy. It's a central way of life. Yeah, I can be a gym rat, but that's just for fun. This getting out there -- it's just plain good for the soul.
So go forth.
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